Addicted to Bittersweet Memories
by InfinityChaos
Summary: Matt's memories, good, bad and painful came rushing over his mind.  Mello, his former lover/best friend came into his mind as his sister spoke his true name.  So, Matt let his mind go free as it wanted, and let all the bittersweet memories take over.


**A/N: Before anything (:  
**

**Warning: This is rated M, and there's a GOOOD reason for it, if you don't mind a bit of sexual interaction, and strong language READ ON! WOO!**

**My GOD! I haven't written a Fanfiction in like freaking forever! I'm sorry ! I've been paying more attention to my original stories.**

**Anyways, funny how the first Fanfiction I've written just happens to be Matt and Mello xD**

**So yeah, the inspiration for this one is, I was listening to the song 'Addicted' by Saving Abel, it's a long story.**

**Enjoy and Don't forget to review!**

**P.S- sorrry the Summary's crappy xD  
**

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"Mail, when's your shift start?" asked Yashitori, her blue eyes staring at the older redhead.

"One." the boy said, slightly peering up from his game.

"In the morning?"

"Tori, it's a strip/pole dance club, most good customers come late, epically the bachelorette party girls"

"But Mail-"

"Matt. call me Matt, if anyone heard you calling me by my given name, I'd be fucking screwed."

The brunette girl sighed.

"But Matt, you don't even like girls, and I'm your sister! I can call you whatever I damn well please."

The gamer sighed, saved his game and closed it, then setting the PSP beside him, knowing his sister wouldn't leave him be.

"So what if I changed my mind, and I decided to like girls? Hm?" he asked, locking eyes with his sister.

"Matt, you can't just up and change your mind about what gender you like! I mean what about Mihael? You couldn't have just forgotten Mello!"

Matt winced as he heard his former lover/best friend's name and felt a pang of horrid pain hit his heart.

Yashitori, realizing she let her big mouth run over, dropped her head.

"I'm sor-"

"I didn't forget Mello, I couldn't, wouldn't ever forget….. Mello.." he said, more calm and collected than Yashitori and he himself had expected.

Matt was surprised he could speak so calm.

Then seconds after he spoke, memories of Mello came washing over Matt's mind, good, bad and painful memories.

They both sat there in silence as Matt let the precious memories overtake his mind.

~_**FLASHBACK**_~

The blond and the redhead boys sat beside the warm fire on that cold winter day at Wammys.

Matt, the redhead eleven year old boy was sitting beside his best friend playing Mario.

Mello, the blond eleven and a half boy sitting beside the redhead sat and ate his chocolate

bar as his best friend played his game.

After a minute or two of nothing but Matt's Mario game noises, Mello sat down his chocolate bar,

grabbed the game from the redhead's hands, shut it and pushed it aside.

Then pushing Matt flat on his back on the floor, Mello sat gently on his stomach, looking down on his

best friend.

"Seriously Matty, if you play your games non stop your gonna go insane." the blond said as a sly grin

came across his face.

"M-mel, what the hell are you doing?" Matt said, his emerald eyes wide.

"Just shut the fuck up and let me do something." Mello spoke, then leaning down, he pressed his lips

against his best friend's, therefore making Matt's face turn the color of his hair.

"M-m….mel…mnnmm" the redhead mumbled into the kiss, then he gave up fighting and let the blond

take control.

To Matt, Mello's lips tasted like sweet milk chocolate, which usually he didn't like, but he was warming

up to the stuff slowly, then unexpectedly Mello slipped his tongue into Matt's mouth, Matt letting

his instinct take over, met Mello's tongue and played with it with his tongue.

The two boys kissed for a good few minutes, then hearing footsteps coming down the stairs Mello bolted

off of Matt and acted like he had fallen asleep on the floor and Matt followed suit.

"God darn kids, staying up late, sneaking downstairs, bah." Roger mumbled as he slowly walked down

the stairs, soon spotting the two boys sleeping by the fire.

He was just about to open his mouth to yell at them to get to their room when a hand appeared on

his shoulder, he looked back and standing behind him was the owner of Wammys, Watari.

"Leave them be old friend, they were just trying to keep warm, you couldn't blame them, they're room's

the attic, and it's always freezing up there." said the sweet looking old man to his friend.

"Oh, fine, but just this once." Roger spoke grumpily.

After the two old men disappeared back up the stairs, the two young boys sat up.

"Whew, that was a close call." Matt said quietly.

"Mmhm" Mello said, glaring at the stairs.

Then swiftly getting back into place, Mello reclaimed his place sitting on top of Matt.

The blond looked down at his best friend and grinned.

Matt's face was a slight mixture of confused, worried and excited.

Mello leaned down and whispered into the redhead's ear.

"Matty, will you be mine, forever and eternity?"

Matt blushed once more, then smiled.

"Of course, Mel."

Mello grinned, then gave his best friend the best kiss he had, then hopped off and helped Matt up.

"C'mon we'd better get back in our room before Roger comes back." Mello said, holding his hand out.

Matt taking it and pulling himself up smiled at his best friend.

"Yeah."

And they both ran quietly up the stairs to their attic suite.

**_~FLASH FORWARD: Two years._**~

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAAAAAAATTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY!" said a more than enthusiastic Mello.

"What the fuck Mel?" the redhead said, slightly lifting his head up to look at the clock. "It's fucking seven

in the morning?"

Mello blinded, then grinned widely.

"I wanted to be the first one to wish you happy thirteenth birthday!" he said happily.

"Okay, what's the deal?" Matt said, squinting his eyes at the blond.

"What do you mean?"

"Where's my Mello and what the hell did you do with him?"

Mello laughed.

"Oh, sorry, I had five jumbo chocolate bars and a coffee at six, when I woke up randomly, so I'ma bit outta

character and hyper."

Matt leaned up and pressed his lips against the blonds, therefore shutting him up.

Then, getting more into the kiss, Matt slipped out from his covers and swiftly moved so Mello was laying

flat on his bed as he continued to kiss him, the kiss getting more and more passionate.

"Mmhmn, Maa….tt….yy…mmnmm…" Mello moaned into the kiss.

Then just as it was about to get even better, Matt broke the kiss and sat on Mello's stomach.

"Heeeyyy, I'm the Seme here.." Mello said, still slightly dazed from Matt's kiss.

Matt smirked.

"Well, it's my turn today." he paused winking at the blond, "Lets just say, this is my birthday present."

Matt slowly stripped Mello of his clothes, then stripped himself.

They both lay there naked, Matt atop grinning down at Mello.

Matt leaning down, kissed Mello once more, this time making the kiss twenty-times more passionate.

_**~FLASH FORWARD: Three years. Making them both sixteen.**_~

The two boys stood in the poring rain, water dripping from their bangs into their eyes.

"Mel, you can't leave! You just can't! Not just like that!" Matt's voice cracked, as he started to cry.

Mello took a deep breath, keeping himself calm and collected, though on the inside he wanted to fall apart.

"You can't leave me for LA! For the Mafia! Please Mel….." Matt gave in and fell onto the wet ground,

Looking up at Mello, the rain slightly stinging his eyes.

Mello still didn't speak, he figured if he spoke he'd lose it and give in like he truly wanted to.

But he couldn't. He wasn't positive why, but he just couldn't give up this offer, though it meant leaving his

best friend for a long time and possibly losing him forever he had to go.

"Goodbye, Matt." was all Mello could say before he started to walk away.

**_~End Flashback~_**

Two years later Matt lay in his empty warehouse/apartment , the only furniture was the bed he was laying

on, a small couch, a small kitchen and a table big enough for two.

It was his and Mello's apartment, but it was originally an empty deserted warehouse that they both

renovated two years prior.

Today was Matt's eighteenth birthday, he was laying flat on his bed with a cigarette in his mouth and a

game in his hand.

Today was no different then any other day, yes it was his birthday, but he hated his birthday because since

Wammys, Mello woke him up early on his birthday and they did something special every year.

The past two years, Matt's birthday was just another day gone to waste.

The day went by, and as always Matt did absolutely nothing at all throughout the day besides smoke and

play his games.

At about six in the evening, Matt got bored of trying to beat the twentieth level of Zelda for once just gave

up for the moment, then sitting up and looking around the room he noticed a huge brown box.

He closed his eyes and thought for a minute.

"OH!, that's my flat screen." he finally said to no one in particular, but most likely himself.

He got up off his bed and unpacked the large TV from it's box.

An hour and a half later he had it set up at the foot of his bed, all of his consoles hooked up and ready to go.

"Wii, Playstation one, two and three, xBox, xBox three-sixty…" he paused, taking a long drag on his

Cigarette "All my Nentendo's, Sega's and Atari, ah good, got'em all." He sat on his bed and stared at all his

different game consoles, trying to decide which one to play first.

After a few moments of thinking, he heard a noise outside which he was amazed he could hear through the

poring rain.

He just ignored the noise and went back to thinking, then moments later he heard gunshots, so he hoped up

off his bed, grabbed his gun from the oven and silently slipped out into the rainy outside.

Just as he stepped outside a black clocked figure ran past him, then fell to the ground under the huge tree.

Matt stared at the figure for a moment, it seemed oddly familiar.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted what he supposed was the enemy because the figure that had

fallen under the tree weakly tried lifting up his gun to shoot the on coming person.

Matt cocked his gun sideways and pulled the trigger once, the bullet hit his heart, dead on, and Matt wasn't

even aiming.

After he was sure the enemy was dead, he walked out in the rain automatically getting drenched and

approached the clocked figure.

The figure had the cloak over his face, so he couldn't tell who it was.

Matt being the caring person he is, wrapped one of his arms around the figure's back and hoisted him up so

he could help him into the dry building.

Once inside, the figure lay flat on the ground, breathing heavily.

Matt kneeled down beside him and slid the hood from his head, only to reveal a boy about the same age as

himself, with a scar covering most of the left side of his face, along with some of his arm, he also had

shaggy shoulder length blond hair, with bangs across his forehead, and the most stunning blue eyes.

Matt only knew one other person who fit that description, but he didn't have a scar, certainly not one that bad.

After moments of scrutinizing the man in silence, the man spoke, his voice deep and scratchy.

"Matty, how I've… missed you."

Matt was taken aback to hear the man speak, he didn't know what to say, his brain completely left him.

"M-Mel?" was all he could manage.

Mello smiled, and weakly lifted his hand up and placed it on Matt's now teary cheek.

"I missed you Matty…"

Matt took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his face.

Then standing up he took another deep breath and spoke.

"Like hell you did." then he ran up the stairs, immediately feeling a pang of pain in his heart.

Mello laid there on the cement floor, dripping wet and sighed.

"I expected much worse…" he mumbled to himself.

After about an hour or so, Matt got up off of laying flat on his bed doing absolutely nothing and walked

back down and sat down next to Mello.

Mello carefully propped himself up into a sitting position, and looked at Matt.

Neither of them spoke, they just sat in utter silence.

Then from no where, Matt let himself go and fell apart, he let his head fall gently onto Mello's shoulder and

cried.

Mello, very carefully swirled himself around so he had his legs around Matt, and Matt was sitting directly in

front of him.

Matt didn't do anything, he just sat with his head on Mello's shoulder and cried.

Mello wrapped his arms around the redhead and gently stroked his back.

"I'm here Matty, I'm here." he whispered softly.

END

New FLASHBACK.

"What the fuck Mel?" Matt said staring at the blond "You fucking promised you wouldn't go back!"

"I know! But they said they need me there right now, or else and besides it's only for a month or so!"

"You said that the first time, guess the new 'month or so' is two and a half years, eh?"

"I DIDN'T KNOW THEY'D UP AND CHANGE THERE MIND!"

"FOR GODSAKE MELLO, IT'S THE MAFIA, AND YOU'RE THE FUCKING HEAD OF IT, YOU

SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT!"

"MAIL! You don't understand!"

"Oh, I understand, they're more important then me, just forget it." Matt said, walking out the door and

disappearing.

BACK TO NORMAL TIME.

Matt opened his eyes, his face now wet with tears from all the memories.

"Matty…." Yashitori said quietly, as she gently sat sideways on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck

and resting her forehead on his.

"I'm sorry I brought up his name Matty.. I-I let my big mouth overrun and-" she was cut off by Matt

putting his hand over her mouth.

She slightly smiled, "Sorry, I'll shut up now.."

Matt lifted his head and looked at the clock on the wall.

"Shit! It's almost two! Tori! Why didn't you like, wake me from my dreamland or something?"

"Because you looked so peaceful and happy.. I'm sorry Matty…" she frowned.

"Thanks kiddo." he said, swiftly lifting her up and placing her on her feet, then walking over to the door and

grabbing his jacket.

"Hey! I'm not a kid, I'm sixteen!" she wined.

"I know, sorry, but you'll always be my little sister." Matt smiled, grabbing the keys to his Camero and

walking out the door.

AT THE CLUB.

"Shit, the clubs extra packed tonight, and how come fucking no one told me tonight men got in free?

therefore it's mostly men, in…ahh fuck never mind." Matt said, slipping the rest of his outfit on.

"Hey Matt, I hear someone you knows in the bar tonight." One of the girls said, winking as she walked past

him to change.

"Woo." Matt sighed unenthusiastically as he walked out onto the catwalk stage, and took his position before

the song started.

Moments later, 'Addicted' by Saving Abel blared throughout the club, Matt started his normal routine, then

in the middle of it, he looked out at the crowd, and out of the hundred or so people that were there, he

spotted Mello.

"What the fuck?" He mouthed, soon after realizing he'd actually mouthed it instead of saying it in his head,

and hoped no one noticed.

But Mello noticed, then knowing just what to do, he turned and walked out the door.

Matt, now frozen shook his head then ran back behind the doors.

"KYLE! TAKE THE REST OF MY ROUTINE!" he yelled, then grabbing his jacket and running out the

back door, only to run straight into Mello.

"What the fuck man?" Matt said, pushing Mello against the brick wall of the back alley.

Mello shrugged, "I'm back for good this time." and before Matt could say another word, Mello pressed his

lips against Matt's, allowing his tongue to slip into Matt's mouth.

And of course, taken by surprise, Matt didn't have any will to struggle.

The surprise kiss, well took him by surprise and completely wiped his mind.

After a minute or so, Mello broke off, gently biting Matt's bottom lip.

"Fuck, you bastard…" Matt whined, then shaking his head he pressed his lips against Mello's and

passionately kissed him.

This time the kiss was so passionate, Matt almost let himself forget why he was suppose to hate Mello, but

he couldn't by far ever hate Mello, it was utterly impossible.

Matt broke away, and looked at Mello.

"Okay you little bastard, I'll give you one last chance, and if you fuck it up again, I'm not gonna be so

forgiving."

Mello smirked, and went back in for another passionate kiss.

"I promise Matty, I won't fuck up again." Mello mumbled into the kiss.

Matt smiled into the kiss.

"Good, 'cause if you did, I'd just have to screw your brains out."

At that they both laughed, walking arm in arm back home.

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**P.S- Sorry if the ending's not awesome, I used all the epic on the rest of the story(:**

**Don't forget to Review! I less than three you xD 'cause it wouldn't let me put the heart XD  
**


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